The Beginning of the Rest of My Life
by fortheloveoftoast
Summary: It is the end of Lily's last year of Hogwarts. She is going back and exploring all the events of the past year and all of the good and bad things that it brought about.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

For the seventh and last time I find myself walking through the barrier from Platform 9 and ¾ to be greeted by my parents in a tearful reunion. But his time just seems different. I'm different, I have changed so much since I first got my Hogwarts Letter, found out I was a witch, first stepped on to the miraculous Hogwarts Express unaware of all of what was laid out in front of me from then until the rest of my life.

My name is Lily Evans, seventeen and a muggleborn witch, ready to embark on a whole new life, away from my family, my comfort zone, my one and only lifeline. Life will never be the same again. Well my life was never actually normal.

When I was little my parents told me that where ever I went unusual happenings were usually in my wake. I was such an odd child compared to my sister Petunia, who lived for normalcy. As a child I loved reading books about the supernatural, witches and wizards and magical intrigue. I never expected magic to be real. But it is, as real as I am standing here today. I still remember that day long ago clearly the day I started my transformation.

I had woken up on a sunny summer day to an impatient tapping to on my window. I then proceeded to fling open my curtains to find a beautiful owl sitting on the window sill. To find an owl at my window was odd enough but I was intrigued. I opened to window and the creature flew in and dropped a letter into my hands. My Hogwarts letter. For the rest of the day all I could remember was a flurry of questions and almost panic. A wizard from the school came and explained it to all of us and by the end of the day it was decided, I was going to Hogwarts. From that moment on my life was filled was all the hustle and bustle of getting school supplies and reading books about the wizarding world so I would be filled in on everything. My parents were proud as can be. I couldn't wait for school to start. From the moment I stepped on to the train to the moment I stepped off today is such a blur. Though these seven years has probably been the most memorable blur I have ever experienced.

Everyone always told me to start stories at the beginning but I have never been a big fan of that rule. Yes I could tell you all about my seven years at Hogwarts but frankly I would find that unbearably tedious. I looked down at the sparkling diamond engagement ring on my finger and then to the love of my life standing at my side and I decided where to start my story. I have always said that when one chapter of my life ends another begins, so this story begins at an ending point and a starting point, at the end of my childhood and the beginning of the rest of my life. Seventh year, still so much of a blur but yet so clear, the turning part of my life. So this is where I shall start, at the beginning of a new year, the most memorable year, seventh year.

I looked up at the huge clock at the train station, 10:58. Shoot, I only have 2 minutes until the train leaves the station. I quickened my pace, thinking about the morning. As usual I was greeted by my mother and father all teary-eyed at the thought of me leaving. My sister never missing a chance to ridicule me was waiting in the car for the trip to King's Cross. Ever since my birthday she had been dating this complete jerk named Vernon apparently she loved him and they were already talking about marriage. God, they had only been together for two months! So in the car she was talking about her boyfriend the whole time. When we got to the station at quarter of 11 she was still babbling. I waited for ten minutes until I got the chance to say good bye and escape. Now I am running at full speed towards platform 9 and ¾. Right after I made it through to the platform and I was heading toward the train I was plowed down by none other than James Potter, the complete jerk, himself. While he apologized profusely, got up, held his hand out and pulled me from the ground and offered the help me stow my trunk on the train, I tucked my long, straight, red hair behind my ear and looked at him through narrowed emerald green eyes, studying him. He was still the same as ever, annoyingly messed up black hair and sparkling hazel eyes. But then something was different. I mean I expected him to knock me down but not act like he was truly sorry. I decided not to dwell on it and when I got the chance I left him to go find my best, and only friend Caitlyn in one of the many compartments. Little did I know that this year would turn out to be the best year I have ever had.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

I quickly found which compartment that Caitlyn was in. Caitlyn is a pureblood and her mom always obsesses about how she can't be late for the train so she is always there about and hour early so she always gets a compartment near the front of the train. I walked in to find her reading a book. Her long, wavy brown hair covered her face from view.

"Hey, watch you reading?"

She talked without looking up at me her eyes scanning the page in front of her, "Hogwarts a History."

"Oh of course," I said dryly. "Is there anything new about Hogwarts we should know?"

This comment made her look up. Her dark brown eyes looked into mine, "Hey why didn't you tell me you were Head Girl?"

"What?"

She gestured to the book, "It updates all the time."

"Oh that. Well I just found out the other day. I thought I'd tell you now." I was uncomfortable with the subject. I knew she wanted so bad to be Head Girl and it is my fault she isn't.

"Oh okay. Lils, don't you have go to the Head's compartment talk to the prefects?"

"Shoot, okay I'll be back after."

"But Lily..."

I didn't hear what she said because I was already out the door running towards the Head's compartment. I flung the door open to a compartment full of prefects and-oh no-Potter!

He looked at my shocked face and chuckled slightly. "Hey Evans you are late."

"I-I well." I managed to stutter. Then I realized how ridiculous I looked and walked towards Potter. "Don't let me interrupt you, continue on." I gestured to the prefects.

He talked for a long time to the prefects telling them the passwords, what their job was to do. I contributed my fair share of comments and then we sent the prefects on their way.

I turned to look at him, "You're Head Boy?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course, I always knew Dumbledore was insane."

I made a face and turned away. "Okay I am going now. We can talk about this whole Head Boy and Girl thing later." Then I left slamming the door behind me. I ran to the compartment where Caitlyn was again hunched over Hogwarts a History. I ran to her, snatched the book away and flipped to the page with the Head's listed on it. Sure enough Potter's name was there in black and white.

"Why didn't you tell me he was Head Boy?" I cried and collapsed on the seat next to her.

She turned to me her eyes full of sympathy, "Oh Lils, I tried to tell you but you left before…"

"Oh it's okay Cait. I understand."

We spent the rest of the train ride talking about the new year. Remus Lupin, Caitlyn's boyfriend walked in at some point to say hi to me and Caitlyn. Soon enough we were at Hogwarts. The feast went by rather normally, with the sorting and the food and then Caitlyn and I walked up to the Gryffindor Common Room. Potter and I talked about how we would split up the duties equally and the fact that we didn't have to see each other at all out side our duties and weekly meetings. For a couple months everything went well but every full moon I had to take over his duties because he had to do something. It wasn't a problem until the third time it happened. He once again excused himself from duties and I finally confronted him about what he was doing those nights.

He looked at me warily. "I really can't tell you Lily…"

"Don't call me Lily, and yes you can tell me!" I snapped

"Okay Evans. I can't tell you because it is a private matter, and telling you would hurt one of my friends."

"Potter! I am glad that you care about your friends but these are your duties!"

"Fine I'll make them up for you if you want me too but I won't tell you." He shouted at me.

I had never seen him this angry but before I could say anything he thundered off. It was then I decided I would find out what he was up too if it killed me. And it almost did… literally.

I got a prefect to take over my duties. I sat in the shadows of the common room away from the waning fire. I heard more than saw Potter creep from his dormitory with his best friends Remus, Sirius and Peter. They crept out of the portrait hole and when the door shut, I couldn't believe it. They were sneaking out! As Head Girl I was determined to find out what they were up to and catch them in the act. I knew that Potter and his group were notorious for playing pranks, but this didn't seem like a prank. I stumbled out of the portrait hole and followed them out of the castle. I walked through the heavy door just as the full moon came out of the clouds, I looked out in time to see Remus transform into a-a werewolf. I screamed, shocked and tried to run away but not before the werewolf tuned to me, cold eyes wide, howled and started to run towards me. I looked at him fearfully glued to the spot. All I remember was someone screaming "Lily" and the same person catching me as I fainted in fright.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

I woke up in the hospital wing with Potter pacing in the space near my bed and Caitlyn reading yet another book at my bedside. The minute my eyes fluttered open Potter raced over to me.

"Oh, Lily I am so sorry!"

"Potter," I said irritably. What did I say about calling me Lily? And what the heck are you doing here? Get out!"

Potter looked at me with a slightly pained expression and then turned and walked off drudgingly.

Caitlyn looked up at me then and said, "You are awake."

I glared at her. "Well obviously! It doesn't take an idiot to realize that." I snapped. I instantly regretted that when I saw her expression. "Oh Cait, I am so sorry!" She just looked at me steadily. I quickly changed the subject. "What happened last night?"

She broke her gaze her eyes looking down at the cover of her book. "Well from what James told me you followed him, Remus, Sirius and Peter outside."

"Yeah, yeah," I cut in. "I know that." Caitlyn always calls Potter by his first name. She says that everyone has their own individual name and that we should use them. Whatever I hate it when she gets all philosophical.

"Okay! So when you screamed Remus went to attack you. Oh why did you have to scream you could have just run away and then Remus wouldn't have to be so guilty that he almost hurt you?"

"Well he almost did!" I couldn't believe that she would defend him and not me.

"He wasn't in his right mind," she wailed.

"Well then maybe he should leave Hogwarts go to an insane asylum. St. Mungo's in the least." After I said this I knew I had gone too far.

"If you want me to tell you the story I will but I won't have you insulting Remus because of something that he can't control," she said coolly. I had seen Caitlyn angry before but I had never been the one to instill it. And frankly I was scared.

"Cait, please tell me what happened. I am so sorry I went way too far. I'm just so confused."

"Okay." she said and continued on.

Even though her tone had lost its edge I could still tell she was angry. I had been her friend long enough to know that most of the anger was confusion. Whom should she be defending: Me, her best friend or Remus, her boyfriend? We both meant so much to her. I could picture her yelling at Remus about what might have happened to me in spite of all the time she spent defending him. I found out later that I wasn't that far off on that.

"So a few seconds after you screamed you fainted, James who was the closest to you caught you before you fell to the ground. He then carried you all the way here while Sirius and Peter distracted Remus in their animagus forms."

"Wait they are animagi?" I seriously thought I was hallucinating. I mean I knew they weren't registered and I didn't think they would be that stupid as to take that risk but I guess I really underestimated them.

"What? Oh yeah they became animagi in like fifth year or something so that they could help Remus with his transformation, something about animals or something." I could tell she was distracted for some reason. I any other circumstance she would be spurting out facts. I knew she wanted to be done with this conversation but I couldn't help but be curious.

"So you knew all about this and you didn't tell me?" I asked accusingly.

She looked at me exasperated. "Lils, you have to understand. When Remus and I started dating he told me about the werewolf thing so that he could be completely honest with me. I couldn't tell you because it wasn't my secret to tell. But I really didn't know about the animagus thing until James told me. You really should thank James and apologize for your rudeness earlier. I mean he did save your life. And you should also talk to Remus about what happened. And you could even thank Sirius and Peter too."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "I'll think about it."

"Lily," she said warily.

"Oh fine why don't you go get him and then you can go and do whatever you want to do? You seem a little distant."

She looked at me gratefully and all but skipped off saying about how she was going to leave anyways so as to leave James and I alone. I was hoping she didn't want to get away from me, just the hospital. I knew she hated the hospital but lately I had been getting very irritable and hard to hang around with. Oh and as for the "alone thing. I have no idea what James and I could have possibly talked about or done that would involve us being alone.

A moment later Potter walked over to my bed. "Look Potter, I am sorry for yelling at you and thank you for saving my life." Under my breath I mumbled, "Though it wasn't just you."

"Oh, well, its no problem." He looked away. "Hey Evans will you go with me to Hogmeade this weekend?"

I looked over at him, running my choices through my head. He had been asking me out for ages maybe if I said yes it would put a stop to all his nonsense. Every time I had said no because he was such a huge jerk and I had to think he was using me. But you know something about this time was different. He seemed as if he truly wanted me to go out with him. Maybe he always did. Also I remembered that I would be going to Hogsmeade alone anyways because Caitlyn would be with Remus. And he did save my life. It's the least I could do. "Okay, fine, but this time only!"

He turned to me his eyes regaining their sparkle I didn't realize they had lost. "Really?" He sounded like a 5 year old at Christmastime.

"Yeah." I said trying to hide the reluctance in my voice.

"Okay well I'll see you later." He ran out to wherever he was going.

I was left alone again, but not for long. About a split second later Madam Pomphrey bustled in muttering about adolescents and running. She told me that there was no use for me staying because I had only fainted and she thought I had gotten over the shock by now. I didn't have to be told twice and was out of there like a shot.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

After I left the common room I went to Remus and we talked some about what happened and I consoled him that he didn't do anything to me and I forgive him. I also thanked Sirius for helping with the whole saving my life thing. I tried to find Peter but he was no where to be found. In fact he hasn't been around for a while now, always going on mysterious trips. Ooh, maybe he has a girlfriend. Then I went and found Caitlyn up in our dormitory. I was forced to tell her all about my conversation with James. When I told her I said I would go out with him she actually squealed. Yes Caitlyn, the calm, cool, and collected one actually squealed. Wow things were getting weird. Remus is a werewolf, James and his friends were animagi, I am going out with James and Caitlyn squealed. Oh my god, I am losing my mind. Okay so back to the point. Caitlyn squealed, she had always thought that James and I would be good together. I couldn't agree in the least. Though, as the week wore on I found myself feeling really strange. I couldn't understand the kind of nervous feeling I mean I have been on plenty of dates before. But what bothered me the most was the excitement. I mean it's a date with Potter! I decided not to dwell on it and soon enough it was Saturday morning and I was sort of panicking. Don't ask me why I was panicking over a date with Potter but I was. So okay I was panicking because I had no idea what in the world to wear. Caitlyn wandered in every once and a while, completely calm about her date with Remus. But you know that's her, not me. As the date grew nearer she finally decided to act like my best friend and help me out. Or at least she thought she was helping.

"Lils, it's just a date. You don't even like him anyways. So why are you stressing?"

"I don't know but…"

"Besides you'll look great in anything."

So with and without her help, I finally decided on a pair of jeans and an emerald green sweater. I pulled my long red into a high ponytail, looked into the mirror, announced, "Well this is as good as it's gonna get," and then I stalked out of the room and down the stairs. I found Potter waiting in the common room near the bottom of the stairs. We walked silently out the portrait hole and then walked out to the front of the castle where all the students were waiting to go to Hogsmeade. We got into a carriage with Caitlyn and Remus and right when we got to the village we headed off to The Three Broomsticks. I was surprised by Potter's silence, I mean he really didn't seem the quiet type and from what I knew of him he wasn't. I decided that he might be nervous; I mean we hadn't talked at all since the "incident", as I decided to call it. I asked him to tell me more about the whole werewolf and animagi thing.

After the initial question, he sipped his butterbeer thoughtfully. "Years ago," he began. "Before we started Hogwarts, Remus got bitten by a werewolf. He didn't think that he would be able to go to school because his transformations were dangerous and he didn't think that any headmaster in his right mind would let him come to school. But then Dumbledore put the Whomping Willow on the grounds and let Remus into school. Soon after school started Remus became friends with Sirius and I. He entrusted us with his secret. We helped him find the secret passage from the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack."

"There is a secret passage!"

"Well yeah. We figured out that if you pressed a knot on the tree it would freeze the tree and then we could slip through the bottom so that Remus would be confined when he transformed."

"Oh, so now I get it. That is why the Shack is said to be haunted!"

"Yeah. So at the beginning of 3rd year Peter caught us and found out what Remus was. We let him hang out with us because we couldn't let him go blabbing to everyone Remus' secret."

"I was wondering why you let him hang out with you."

"And then in 5th year we finally figured out how to become animagi. We had learned that werewolves did better around animals. We thought that we could help him with his transformation. I am a stag, Sirius, a dog, and Peter is a rat. We made up nicknames and we call ourselves the Marauders."

I laughed. "Tell me what your nicknames are."

"Well Remus' is Moony, Sirius' is Padfoot, Peter, Wormtail, and I am Prongs,"

I laughed again. They did come up with good nicknames that fit their animagi forms or in Remus', Moony's, case his werewolf form. He continued to tell me more about all the things they did together on those nights and other times. Some memories shocked me and some made me crack up. I was so intrigued with this new side of Potter that I had never known but I tried to hide it. After all I wasn't supposed to have fun on this date. Two hours and 4 butterbeers later we fell silent.

"Let's go on a walk." I was getting kind of restless and I wanted to get up and do something.

He eyed me cautiously and then asked, "Lily would you like to go to the Shrieking Shack?" Sometime during our conversation we had started calling each other by our first names. Yes, even me.

"Well since you already told me it wasn't really haunted, I guess there is nothing to be afraid of." I had to say that the Shack was still really creepy even though I knew its history.

After the date, when I was lying in bed that night, I reflected on all that had happened that day. As the evening went on it had gotten colder, James, being the fine gentleman that he is, offered me his coat which I had gratefully accepted. AHG! I can't believe I just called him a gentleman. But you know he really seems as if he might not be a jerk at all. It seemed he really cared about me. Well maybe those thoughts are what made me agree to another date the following day. But hey, I guess I really had fun.

The next day, Sunday, dawned bright and early, really early. When we woke up Caitlyn talked non-stop about her date with Remus. Remus was probably the only person to make Caitlyn talk that much. She normally was really soft-spoken and quiet. And of course I was the only one that she talked to so I had to suffer through her rambling.

When I told her about my day and how I ended up agreeing to another date, she looked at me dead serious and said, "You like James. Soon you will find you love him."

Okay you should probably know that Caitlyn can get a little weird sometimes. She was a really good at divination, though. Her mother was a seer and sometimes she came out with predictions that normally ended up true, but this was really out there. I mean me falling for James? Now that was really ridiculous. I decided to forget about it but the problem with me is that when an idea gets into my head I can't stop thinking about it.

After breakfast, I met up with James outside of the great hall and we went out by the frozen lake and talked under an oak tree that the Marauders always hung out under. We talked about everything, our families, and our childhoods. It's amazing how easily I could talk to him, it just seemed right. After about an hour we lapsed into a comfortable silence, which unfortunately was broken by Sirius, Remus, and Caitlyn lobbing us with snowballs. Peter again wasn't there. I take this time to tell you that over the night quite a few inches of snow had accumulated on the grounds. This turned into a huge snowball fight. James and I fought hard in our own little competition and I have to say that I definitely won. However, throughout the whole day, Caitlyn's words kept running through my head. "You like James. Soon you will find you love him."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

In the few weeks after our dates James and I grew accustomed to doing our Head's duties together talking the whole time. We walked together by the lake under the moon and sat under the oak tree with Caitlyn and the Marauders in our spare time. Caitlyn and I ate our meals with the Marauders, sometimes including Peter if he decided to show up. He was getting even more distant as the year went on. To the human eye we were always together. Rumors were spread that we were dating and I guess that we kind of were. I mean unofficially really but you know. I guess that I did kind of like him but no matter what anyone said I could never like him more than a really great friend, right? So Caitlyn's prediction hasn't and won't come to pass ever. You know time really flies when you are in love-err I mean having fun. Soon enough it was Christmas Eve and I was again panicking. I had no idea what to give James as a Christmas present. I couldn't think of anything-what? Special enough? I really didn't know. So like I always do I just decided not to dwell on it, stupid I know. So the next morning I still had no idea what to give him and I guess I was out of luck because it was Christmas and I had no more time. So I decided to play it by ear I guess. So when I awoke I sprinted down to the common room where I found Caitlyn and the Marauders with the exception of Peter of course. He had gone home to whatever family he has a surprising change from the norm. Me, I never went home for the holidays. I mean why should I go home to Petunia's nagging when I had just gotten away from it? We were the only ones in Gryffindor who stayed for the holidays.

So then the gift exchanging began. Sirius went first because just like a little child he couldn't wait. I got him an everlasting collection of candy from Honeydukes, a holiday special. Caitlyn gave him a book on pranks; James gave him a bunch of dog toys as a joke for his animagi transformations and Remus gave him a bunch of stuff from Zonko's joke shop.

Remus went next. I gave him an eagle feather quill and gold ink so that he could give any essay, or letter a finishing touch. Caitlyn got him a book of poems, yeah really sentimental but again that's her, and a book called, and I am not kidding, Lycanthropy Diaries, it is about werewolves who share their life experiences. Yeah, whatever. From Sirius he got animated figurines of him as a werewolf, Sirius as a dog, Peter as a rat, and then me, Caitlyn and James. The figurines reenacted the whole "incident" with Caitlyn added to the background staring on in shock. Unfortunately for Sirius the joke didn't go down well with Remus, Caitlyn and I. James just looked a bit shocked that Sirius would try to relive the "incident". But in the end we all laughed at it thinking the situation kind of funny now and Remus laughingly vowed he would keep them forever. Then James gave Remus a series of photographs of all the Marauders, besides Peter again, throughout the ages. I looked at it shocked I didn't know how James got all those pictures. In fact I didn't know how he would even think of that as a gift.

So then there was Caitlyn. I got her a set of heart wrenching romance novels, currently her favorite. Although I hated her enjoyment of them because it was normally me comforting her when she was sobbing uncontrollably mumbling about how this or that should have happened. "They should have been together!" or "Why did he have to die, she loved her!" AHG! I also gave her a book on philosophy and divination though that probably meant she was going to be a lot more philosophical and making a lot more predictions. AHG! Sirius gave her a copy of "Hogwarts a History". His comments were, "I got this for you because I thought that maybe you would like it and I didn't think you had read it yet." He was so serious when he said that, so that about shows how observant Sirius is. James gave her a book on controlling her anger. He had heard all about how she had yelled at Remus and I about the "incident". After receiving the book she just looked steadily at him her brown eyes flashing gold, frankly a little angry. Remus was the only one who didn't get her a book. He gave her a smooth silver locket, shaped in a heart. On one side engraved into the metal were the letters C + R. On the other side she found the inscription of an open book. Inside the heart was a wizard picture of her and him laughing and smiling and the other was a frozen picture with them simply staring into each others eyes. Caitlyn looked up at him her anger instantly replaced with tears glistening in her eyes, while he carefully fastened the delicate chain on her neck.

Then it was my turn, James had insisted that he should go last. Caitlyn got me a music box with lilies carved into the oak. It has a little brass key that I could turn and it would play my favorite song from Swan Lake. From Sirius, who never knew how to give a gift as you saw before, I got a box of replenishing raspberry truffles, my favorite, and an everlasting red rose. He really came through this time although I couldn't understand the rose. I guess he wanted to give me something that I could look at or something. I have no idea. But from James I got a long box covered in emerald green silk. When I opened it lying gracefully on the soft green velvet was a delicate silver chain with tiny diamonds and emeralds set into it. As James fumbled with the clasp when he put the bracelet on he mumbled something about it being his grandmother's. Even though I wasn't in the least observant I knew that this gift meant something. With the box, he had handed me a small piece of ivory parchment, folded and then tied with a dark green ribbon. As I slowly opened the note I could feel four pairs of eyes boring into my forehead. Neat, meticulous letters in green ink were written across the page. The letters together formed the lamest poem ever written to me. Three quarters of the poem was copied from an old, popular muggle rhyme that I knew.

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Sugar is Sweet

And I Love You

How such a ridiculous poem could make me so misty-eyed was beyond me. But maybe it was what the poem meant was what really got to me. I found myself drawing the only obvious conclusion, he really loved me. And I loved him. It's amazing how black and white love can be. I thought that I couldn't love him but all that was changed now. All of a sudden I knew the perfect present, something that would mean the world to James and last forever, something from my heart. Maybe even a piece of my heart for all I knew. I was head over heels in love with Potter, yes James Potter, my Potter and I am finally admitting it. It's amazing how guys can fall in love at first sight and know that that girl is the one for them. But us women, we need to learn to love. We can find love in the most unexpected places but we need the boy to help us learn and that's what James did for me. I took the chance to venture and I found love finally. AHG! Okay so I was reading Caitlyn's philosophy book again but you know the things that you do when you are terribly bored.

James then got his gifts. From Caitlyn he got a book called The Life of an Animagi. Okay again I am not kidding about the title. Caitlyn knew that James was interested in transfiguration and animagi and stuff so I guess she thought it might be interesting. Sirius got him a snitch and a new broomstick. Remus gave James a framed picture that he had taken of James and me leaning against the oak tree deep in conversation. I then fully realized that everyone was looking at me waiting for me to give him his gift. Throughout the whole time he was opening gifts I was deep in thought about my gift to him. I crept over to him and whispered into his ear.

"Meet me out by the oak tree after dinner."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

For the whole rest of the day I all but avoided James. I didn't talk to him once at lunch and in all the free time we had I spent it in the girl's dormitory talking with Caitlyn. Now finally it was dinner time. I laid down my utensils on my now empty plate. I looked over at James. He was slowly moving his food around his plate. I could tell that he was nervous about what might happen at the oak tree. I mean how can you blame him? He basically proclaimed his love for me and I am making him wait. I giggled realizing that James is at my mercy. I looked over at Caitlyn, whom I had told my whole plan and she nodded slightly. I stood up quietly and walked out of the great hall, barely hearing Caitlyn's soft good luck. I walked out into the cold air, through the snow and then I settled myself at the trunk of the tree. No more than two seconds later I saw a figure walking down towards me. I looked out at the lake the moon reflecting on its surface. I felt more than saw James sit down beside me. We continued to look out at the lake for a few minutes, when finally he couldn't take it anymore.

"What did you want?" I could hear the slight waver in his voice and it was all I could do to try and stifle a giggle.

I turned and looked at him. His eyes betrayed what I couldn't hear in his voice he was confused, worried. I instantly felt a little bad and looked away quickly avoiding his eyes. I knew that that would just add to his panic but I couldn't stand to see the pain in his eyes. I realized again that he was at my mercy and felt that I didn't really enjoy it.

"I need to talk to you." Oops wrong words. Oh am I ever going to learn?

"O-okay."

"James I realized something today. When I saw your gift to me, this beautiful bracelet and that ridiculous poem," I laughed softly. "I never knew it but when I saw your gift I knew."

I was met with silence. Well no wonder I wasn't really giving him anything to respond to. So I decided to just cut to the chase. I leaned forward and caught his lips in a kiss. I could tell I caught him by surprise because he instantly stiffened. But as the kiss went on he responded more warmly. It was a long loving kiss and neither of us wanted to let go. But soon enough we had to come up for air. We broke apart and I leaned my forehead against his looking deep into his eyes. All that I was planning to say was wiped from my head so I let my heart do the talking.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I just looked steadily at him and said, "I know."

We kissed one more time and then he pulled me into his arms. We spent the rest of the evening leaning against the oak tree, holding each other tightly against the cold December wind. I knew that this was where I belonged for the rest of my life. I guess that if you think official is an actual agreement then maybe we weren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend but you know what happened this evening was about as official as you can get. James and I shared an understanding that didn't need words to convey. That was all we needed.

"They have you."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

"Lily, Lils get up?" A hand shook me roughly out of my sleep.

"Wha-what?"

"It's me Caitlyn. Get up its twelve."

"Why are you getting me up at midnight?"

"No silly. It's noon."

"Noon? Why didn't you tell me?" I was up out of bed like a shot, just to come crashing down as all the blood rushed to my head. The sun blinded me and I lay in the bed looking up to the ceiling as all the events of last night came rushing back. I closed my eyes and smiled. Then I slowly sat up to find Caitlyn looking curiously at me from the foot of the bed.

"What happened last night? You got back too late and I was already asleep. Did you come back at all? Or did you sneaks in when I was sleep early in the morning?"

"Caitlyn!" I said exasperatedly. "What are implying?"

"Well you have to think logically." AHG! Caitlyn and her logic.

"Nothing happened. I kissed him, he kissed back."

"Well that is something. So what did you talk about?"

"You know we didn't really talk at all."

"What do you mean?"

"Well for all the logic do you think you can get an idea?"

"God, Lils just tell me."

"Okay, okay, Caitlyn relax, I'll tell you." You know what I said about Caitlyn always being calm, cool and collected? Yeah well right know I am really not sure that that is true. The roles have seemed to switch. I never knew that she was so interested in my personal life. And maybe before I would be more comfortable telling her but there was just something about James that just made me want to keep him secret. But Caitlyn was my best friend and if I couldn't trust her well then I couldn't trust anybody.

"Sorry, continue."

"Well the whole time before the kiss I could tell that he was nervous as to what I was going to say. And I of course never knowing what to say just added his panic." I saw Caitlyn nodding after about every word. "Well then I realized I couldn't let him go through that because of me so I just kind of kissed him. Then I told him that I loved him and he said he loved me too and I said I know."

"Lils, what happened to all the things you were going to say, and do you think that it was smart to say I know because I kind of shows that you are a bit overconfident?" There was Caitlyn always going by the book. She needs to realize that all the answers aren't in books.

"Those words didn't seem like they mattered anymore. I just let my heart speak through me. I guess. And when I said I know I meant that he didn't need to tell me I could just tell. You can see love if you look hard enough." I couldn't believe I was saying something like that. The roles really seemed to have changed, but hopefully not forever. I couldn't think of spending my whole life acting like Caitlyn. I guess that she felt the same way because she quickly gained a thoughtful look which was her trademark.

"So you are saying that love should be strong enough that you can just feel or see it radiating off someone?"

"Yeah." I said slowly I have never taught anyone much less Caitlyn anything at all. She normally had all the answers but I guess that she was factually and opinionly intelligent. She still had a lot to learn about emotions. And I guess I was going to help her learn.

"So are you saying that maybe instead of going by the book maybe you should let your heart do the talking?"

"Yes exactly what I was thinking." Caitlyn had this way to know what others were thinking with out having them say it aloud. She brightened up so quickly that I seriously thought I saw a light bulb go on in her head. In about a second after I answered I found myself tackled in a huge hug my face buried in her hair.

"Uh Cait," I managed to choke out. "I can't breath.'

Surprisingly she managed to hear me and she apologized profusely as she got off me and pulled me up to a sitting position. I seriously thought that all the bones in my body were broken. But when I saw how practically giddy she was I found it was all worth it.

"Uh Cait what was that for?"

She looked at me a blush rising in her face. "Well Remus and I have been dating for a while and I guess well I have always told Remus that I love him and he would always look at me hard as if he was trying to find something. Then he would tell me that he loved me too but he never seemed to really mean it. I was losing hope thinking that he might not really love me. Maybe he didn't really believe me. I mean I love you isn't really a phrase to waste. So maybe I need to show it to him, prove it you know. Maybe it would help."

"Cait, why didn't you tell me?"

"Well I-uh-I didn't really want to believe it. But maybe your advice will help. I can show him that I really love him and I'll look and try to see if he really does love me."

"Well I think that Christmas gift proved everything that needed to be proved."

"Yeah oh my god did you see that? It's so beautiful! I could barely control my tears."

"I know I could tell."

"And how about that bracelet? And the poem? And the rose?" We laughed so hard tears of mirth started falling from our eyes. Then we started talking about all the gifts, and about how Caitlyn thought that Sirius liked me. When she brought that up I just stared at her unbelieving, then we both cracked up. These were the best times, when we just laughed and had fun. I always hated the serious conversations and I liked that we ended up veering the subject from my evening with James.


End file.
